The title is, Nihonjin no Onna wa Son wo suru. It means something like Shortchanged: A Japanese Women's Guide to International Romance. This is a sequel to the book for Japanese guys, Nihonjin no Otoko wa Motenai.
Women raised as Japanese have a set of romantic behaviours that are different from women in other cultures. We interact with men differently, we carry ourselves differently, and we approach love, sex and relationships very differently.
The argument that the Japanese are unique has been debunked a million times, I know, but bear with me. What I am trying to say here is that Japanese women need to be culturally aware if we are to jump into the very exciting adventure of intercultural relationships, otherwise we'll find ourselves disappointed.
Because, there are some crucial differences indeed.
Not many cultures have women initiating romantic relationships. It is common in Japan. Not many cultures have women acting like innocent kid sisters to attract male attention. It is common in Japan. There are many more examples in the book.
Tactics we have learned as young Japanese girls won't work outside Japan!
Many of us arenʼt happy with Japanese men and look abroad, or to the ever-growing number of foreigners in Japan, to ﬁnd our Prince Charming. With Japanese women prized the world over as wives and lovers, youʼd think weʼd have ʻpick of the litterʼ for the best men in the world. And some of us do score pretty well. But way, way too many of my sisters ﬁnd themselves in bad relationships with the wrong foreign men.
Love may be a mysterious thing, but there are some very consistent behaviors among the Japanese women in fulﬁlling, happy, relationships. And there are also mistakes and bad decisions that tend to crop up over and over again for those in unhappy, unhealthy relationships.
Both the good and bad behaviors can be learned, and unlearned, by just about anyone.
And thatʼs where this books comes in.
The author and illustrator is a woman, a bilingual, bicultural Japanese national, who grew up going in and out of Japan every few years, and is happily married to an American. In this book, I have poured in my personal experience, as well as the vast information I have gained from talking to people, Japanese or otherwise.
The book is all about functioning happily and effectively as a Japanese girl in Western culture. Far more on cultural awareness than romantic self-help, it mixes advice on starting and maintaining relationships, information on etiquette, culture and language not taught in school but useful in social situations.
The book is a pdf*** file, 160 plus pages if printed on letter-sized paper. A4 paper can be used to print out if you are not living in North America and do not have access to letter size.
It is written entirely in Japanese.
If you don't read Japanese, this book is not for you.
***PDFfiles need Acrobat Reader installed on your system.
Download it here.
The book costs 25 dollars and returns invaluable insight into living abroad and non-Japanese relationships. There is also a 2 books set deal for 35 dollars, if you are interested in reading the book for guys too.
But let us emphasize again, if you don't read Japanese at a native level, this book is useless for you.
We only have this informational page in English because the US-based store system requires us to have it. This page is not meant to invite non-Japanese speakers to purchase the book.